So I dressed up like a Pirate

Silly, I know (but I am reading a great re-telling/re-working of Peter Pan called Tigerheart, so Pirates are on my mind).

I looked, well, probably not fierce, but in black from neck to toes (which are actually a lovely "I'm not a waitress red" color). with a GREAT pirate scarf (if pirates are prone to mulberry paisley patterns) and giant hoop earrings and this awesome bracelet that looks like pirate plunder that my friend Pam sent). But it was kind of fun for me, anyway. Nobody else got it right away....since pretty much everyone I saw yesterday was either a chemo nurse, my doctor, or someone in treatment...and we all wear big scarves.

I also brought a plethora of things many of you have sent, and next week will change it out with other things. Honestly, you have all been so kind with everything -- the blog posts, the random cards, the healing reiki's, the gifts, and offers of help. I love you all. Thank you.


CHEMO (long)

Deinse very kindly drops me off as my appointment isn't until 1pm, so Iit's likely tht this first day I won't get home until around 7:30 (yeah, it was 9pm....thanks Matty and Lucie). First I met with Dr West, who gave me about 15 prescriptions for nausea and RASH (for the Erbitux) -- including Emend, Zofran, and some other thing for nausea, and about four different ones that can help the rash. Thinking about it, amybe the rash will helpout with the pirate look -- it will be like scurvy or the pox.

Matt and I read through my file (I took it downstairs to chemo with the orders on it -- it's pretty cool to look at your chart and see what doctors think about you (because they DO comment). My radiation oncologist called me a "delightful 40 year old..." How nice is that? Anyhow, the thing that we were really looking for is the result of the baseline, as Dr West said, "yes, it looks pretty much the same...) Well, what is the pretty much? The tumor is exactly the same size. 17 mm. Are you kidding? Is something REALLY THAT SMALL responsible for so much chaos? And I have NO new lymph involvement, but the ones I do have have increased in size, but not significantly.

I LOVED reading this. One of my panicky late night can't sleep thoughts is always -- where's it going now? Is it getting bigger? It's been two months already!! And there's the answer. So if everything goes to plan, everything (even that eeeny weeny tumor) should get smaller. And then I just take drugs to make any cancer left, INEFFECTIVE. And as Dr West says every time we see him, "Melissa, we have SO many options right now, this is just the very beginning, and I am very hopeful about this for you." Aww. Me too.


For those of you reading this who HAVEN'T or AREN'T currently getting chemo, the port is pretty cool. However, if your port was only installed on Friday (hooray form more general anesthesia), and is kind of black and blue, that first shove of the needle (and believe me it's a shove) is a wee bit more painful than I was expecting. Even with the lidocaine. (Okay,my friend in Portland I know I am whining because you had yours the next day and I can only imagine - erg).

So then they pump you fulllllll of saline. Don't bother with the elephant exhibit, just come over and look at my ankles. And then the moved onto Benadryl in preparation of the Erbittux which very infrequently can send people into massive allergic reactions. So, Benaryl straight through into the heart.

WOOZY. Then Erbitux for one hour, plus one hour of monitoring after. Then other premeds -- zofran, then ativan (oooh, lovely...I hope I get that every week, it's quite nice. Then nevelbien (which is the old person's chemo -- I refer to it as navy bean soup, because it's easier to remember and nicer sounding if you like that kind of soup. It only takes 6 miintes, so it's fast.

The biggest bummer of the day comes when I find out that with the Cislatin, I have a 10mg does of decadron (that awful calf ruining steroid). Not negotiable. Oh well, it's only 10 mg once a week, instea of 8mg every day, so maybe I will escape unscathed...Then the Cisplatin, which even the chemo nurse (LOVELY WOMAN, and always works Tuesdays, hooray!) That's one hour as well. Then another hour of saline, and I was good to go.

Wow. This is really long, and frankly probably not that interesting to most of you. But, that was yesterday, all in all, not too bad.

Came home and had some LOVELYfood that Ka:ren and Marcy prepared (flipping through some of the magazines Marcy so nicely shared) and fell asleep at 10 and hopefully started to a serious pirate-like massacre on those bad cells.

And today...feel good. Little tired still. Tomorrow, who knows?